I failed my driver's test before I ever pulled out of the parking lot.
Sixteen years old. Red Miata convertible. The one thing I wanted more than anything.
Gone in under a minute.
I sat through the rest of that test convinced I could win her over. I couldn't. And all I could think about was that everyone at school was going to know. All my friends were going to know. I was the girl who failed.
I've been driving for twenty years now. I almost never think about it.
Here's what I want you to hear. You will fail at things. People will judge you for it. I'm not going to sit here and promise you that everyone is kind and nobody is watching, because that isn't true. Sometimes they are watching. Sometimes they are judging.
But you only get two options.
Sit in it and let it define you.
Or decide what you do next.
Maybe right now the failure everyone can see is your marriage. Your spouse left. You're the one sitting alone at church. Your kids are struggling and people notice. It feels like your whole life is on display and you're the cautionary tale.
You still get to decide what comes next.
Also in this episode, I'm answering your questions.
How do you carry the emotional pain of a spouse who has been unfaithful and is telling people lies about you.
Why your husband may be hiding the truth from you, and the uncomfortable question you have to ask yourself before trust can ever get rebuilt. Fair warning, this is the kind of answer that gets me hate mail.
What to do when your spouse moves back home but sleeps in the guest room and clearly isn't there for the marriage.
Then Coach Meredith joins me to talk about what she's seeing inside the Coaching Lab, why people make progress faster in groups, and how much it changes things when someone finally notices you're growing.
In Study Scripture With Me, we're in Psalm 23. I walked that terrain in Israel and it completely changed how I read this psalm. Sheep don't lie down because you make them. Sheep lie down because they feel safe. That one detail reframes the entire thing.
And in the Hot Seat, I answered rapid fire questions while doing burpees. We still don't agree on how many I actually did.
You will fail. Things will not go as planned. People will judge you.
Get back up, drive forward, and prove them wrong.
I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.
The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of “fine.”
We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.
If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.
New episodes every Thursday.
Don't just exist. Show up.
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