bill@marriagehelper.com

Sex is one of the ways we stay attracted to each other in a marriage. And you can have better sex with your spouse! Dr. Corey Allan found in a study that the higher your level of religious dogma, the less sexually satisfied you are because of the shame and guilt associated with it. This early discovery led him to be a voice that helps couples discuss and frame conversations around sex and marriage. He believes if you can't talk about what you want to do or about sex with the person you wish to have it with, you're not ready to have it yet. Dr. Allan joins Kimberly Beam Holmes to discuss how you can walk beside your child, helping them create their own informed decision about sex based on your family’s morality.

Did you know that I was once ADDICTED to Crossfit? It's true. And I ran myself into the ground. I hurt myself physically, to the point that I still have lasting effects from that time in my life. There are great, impactful, and life-changing ways to work on your PIES but they also have to be mindful, careful, and life-giving ways.

The Enneagram is a popular personality test that categorizes your personality into nine distinct types. The test informs you of traits, values, and motivations that can help in the workplace, personal development, and in your relationships. Christa Hardin joins us to discuss the difference between the nine types and how they can impact your marriage. She talks about the common misconceptions about the Enneagram, especially for Christians, what the best Enneagram combinations are within a relationship, along with how to keep your focus on the strengths of each type.

Ben Higgins, of The Bachelorette and The Bachelor fame, joins us on our 100th episode of It Starts With Attraction! Ben discusses why he joined the reality TV shows and how he was looking to shake up what he felt was a boring and uninteresting life. He talks about his battles with addiction, feeling lonely and unseen, and how difficult it is to stand for your values when questioned about why you believe them. Finally, Ben reminds us that we've all experienced pain and have a story worth sharing.

When’s the last time you had a conversation with your spouse about your sex life? Many people are raised with sex being a forbidden or negative topic in their homes. And for couples with marital problems, they say it’s because of a lack of sex between 50 to 70% of the time. So, how can you overcome those stigmas to have a healthy conversation around sex in your marriage and have a great sex life? Adam and Karissa from Dear Young Married Couple join us to talk about their counseling careers and how they’ve helped people open up about sex. We discuss everything from how to begin talking about sex with your children, using porn in your marriage, and how big of a role friendship plays in the bedroom in this episode of It Starts With Attraction.

This week I chatted with Laura Heck from Marriage Therapy Radio. Laura is a Gottman Certified therapist in Washington State. Of course, we talked about communication but also self-care, the top issues Laura sees as a marriage and family therapist, how to work on yourself, conflict...all the things! Laura sees a lot of couples living as "roommates" and having a lack of communication, intimacy, and how to add more to their marriage. Intimacy fades with time because it's the assumption that you know your spouse already and the communication has broken down. We also talk about the Gottman 5-1 ratio. For every 1 negative thing, there should be 5 positive things to counteract them. Having emotional intelligence and understanding when your spouse took what you may have said or done negatively, and correcting it, is vital to a healthy marriage.