Ben Higgins, of The Bachelorette and The Bachelor fame, joins us on our 100th episode of It Starts With Attraction! Ben discusses why he joined the reality TV shows and how he was looking to shake up what he felt was a boring and uninteresting life. He talks about his battles with addiction, feeling lonely and unseen, and how difficult it is to stand for your values when questioned about why you believe them. Finally, Ben reminds us that we've all experienced pain and have a story worth sharing.
When’s the last time you had a conversation with your spouse about your sex life? Many people are raised with sex being a forbidden or negative topic in their homes. And for couples with marital problems, they say it’s because of a lack of sex between 50 to 70% of the time. So, how can you overcome those stigmas to have a healthy conversation around sex in your marriage and have a great sex life? Adam and Karissa from Dear Young Married Couple join us to talk about their counseling careers and how they’ve helped people open up about sex. We discuss everything from how to begin talking about sex with your children, using porn in your marriage, and how big of a role friendship plays in the bedroom in this episode of It Starts With Attraction.
This week I chatted with Laura Heck from Marriage Therapy Radio. Laura is a Gottman Certified therapist in Washington State. Of course, we talked about communication but also self-care, the top issues Laura sees as a marriage and family therapist, how to work on yourself, conflict...all the things! Laura sees a lot of couples living as "roommates" and having a lack of communication, intimacy, and how to add more to their marriage. Intimacy fades with time because it's the assumption that you know your spouse already and the communication has broken down. We also talk about the Gottman 5-1 ratio. For every 1 negative thing, there should be 5 positive things to counteract them. Having emotional intelligence and understanding when your spouse took what you may have said or done negatively, and correcting it, is vital to a healthy marriage.
This week I sat down with my husband Rob to talk about spiritual attraction. We get into how we met, what attracted us to each other, and how to have discourse with friends and family that may not agree with you 100%. We believe people who model what they say and it's up to us to make sure that we're living in line with our beliefs and values. The way our spiritual attraction forms is based on the beliefs and values that we hold. Now, these beliefs and values can come from things we're passionate about, things we're passionate against, or the experience and or the experiences that we have had so far in life that have formed us. Throughout this episode, we talk about ways we can engage the people in our circles without judgment and with empathy. We all want to know others and be known and most of the time that means being willing to be held accountable by those closest to you. None of this is easy but relationships never are.
In today's episode of It Starts With Attraction, I'm just going to share some things from my life with you. What spiritual attraction means to me, how it has helped me, and continues to shape me into the person I'm becoming. Spiritual attraction, at its core, is all about living in line with the beliefs and value system that you have. We find it attractive when there are people who have strong beliefs and values and stand up for them. Spiritual attraction is important. I would say it's more important than physical attraction for a long-term relationship. And it's right up there with emotional attraction because it is the core of who we are — our spiritual attraction, beliefs, and values form our character, integrity, and purpose.
What does it mean to be on the same page spiritually as a couple? How can you work towards becoming and staying spiritually attracted to each other as you move through your marriage? For couples who share a christian faith, how can you work together to stay spiritually connected to each other and God? Even if you’re not a Christian, this episode is still valuable and has important truth that you can apply to your own life to see amazing change. Join Kimberly and Dr. Kimberling as they discuss spiritual attraction and specific ways you can use it to strengthen your marriage to make it the best it can be.